And I say goodbye to everything we could have been.
Sometimes, people, or situations, or moments that we yearn for are long gone, and it just takes us a little longer to get used to the idea. We create a future in our heads, everything that could happen, and fall in love with that future. We fall in love with every single detail, we imagine the good and the bad it will bring, just to believe it will eventually happen.
But sometimes, this future was never meant to be. We just don't want to accept it.
So we keep on waiting for that future to come, until our brain finally accepts what had been in our subconscience for a long time: it's never going to happen. And we cry, not only because of that particular thing we wanted, but because of what we hoped it would bring, this life only in our heads. We grieve that lost life.
It's really, really hard. We write songs about it, we write it down, we think it through, and we listen to music to make us feel we are not alone.
Then, finally, we let go. We accept it's not part of our future and let it go. We feel nostalgic, sad, a little empty... and relieved, and free. Because when we let go we see all the new possibilities that lie ahead. And start creating a new future.
We know it could have been beautiful. That's our blessing and our course at the same time. But we can't help it.
Unfinished stories are quite bad, but even though unstarted ones may be even worse, there's a beauty in them. There's this hope we created. There's this memory of something that never happened. This beautiful paradox.
As Éponine says... Why regret what could not be?
A big big hug,